Leaders, be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to anger
Leaders, be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to anger
Whatever you face in life, choose to GROW through it, rather than simply GO through it!
Life is challenging :0)
Relationships, responsibilities, expectations, beliefs, emotions, disappointments the constant hustle and bustle of life mean that we are going to face struggles. I’m pretty sure there is a quote that goes along the lines of
“There is nothing in life more certain than that we will face struggles”
Not sure sounds about right but I could have my quotes crossed. Anyhow when we do face these struggles how are we dealing with them – Do we curl up into our own world or do we reach out.
When facing struggles it’s easy to fall into the trap of going it alone. There are many dangers in this:
“Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithfull in prayer”Romans 12:12
This morning. as I sat in the quiet stillness of a beautiful dawn and reflected on my day ahead, my thoughts drifted to my housekeeping objective for the day – vacuuming and washing the floors. As quickly as the awareness of what I had committed to do earlier in the week came to mind…
At the start of each week, I set myself objectives for the key areas of my life and then assign these objectives to a daily plan which makes seemingly big tasks such as ‘clean the house’ highly manageable because all I am doing on the given day is the assigned task
…another thought came up as quickly “I’m not overly keen on doing this and I have a lot of other things to do, so I’ll adjust my commitment slightly” a.k.a vacuum today, wash floors next week ;0
For any of you who have a tight schedule and have experienced the joy of ‘doing what needs to get done, when it needs to get done’, my ‘thought’ hopefully triggered the following response “if you drag this over to next week, then next week you have more to do“. I of course immediately recognised this and with a firm tone said to myself “No, you committed to doing this today! GET YOUR CHORES DONE!”
I have to admit that my statement of intent made me feel slightly better (it feels good knowing you are going to follow through on your commitments) and although fully committed to completing this task I still had a slight ‘resentment’. And I realised why – I had to do a ‘Chore’
When I looked up the meaning of Chore the following came up
When we have to do anything that, although necessary, we perceive as ‘tedious’; ‘boring’ or ‘unpleasant’ we typically will either –
Do it but in a reluctant manner, giving less than our full effort and attention
We will find ways to avoid it either ‘rescheduling’ or ‘trying to do it’ (an interesting word ‘tried’)
With this realisation, I recognised how this dirty little word could seep into many things we need to take regular action on – Making those daily sales calls; invoicing clients; calling the people we promised to call back – tasks which have a big impact on our happiness and success.
I have therefore decided, as all good coaches with a grounding in CBT would do, to reframe my language. My necessary tasks which need to be done regularly are now my
“Acts of Love”
It’s was amazing! The moment I thought about what I needed to do as an act of love – in this instance keeping a clean home is an act of love to myself, my gorgeous wife and to my Father in Heaven – the resentment vanished and was replaced by a smile on my face and a song in my heart.
Love requires heart and as the bible says
Give it a try – start treating your tasks/jobs as “acts of love” and see how you are richly rewarded :0)
*Leadership in Motion was formed to help managers and business owners develop into strong, confident leaders: Leaders who recognise their purpose and authority; and who have the tools and means to equip, enable and empower others to realise their full potential resulting in flourishing organisations, communities and lives
As part of my ongoing learning and development, I am currently making my way through a phenomenal book by Alan Kendrick, Randy Alcorn, and Stephen Kendrick called
This morning as I studied my new week’s chapter (each week I focus on one chapter, allowing me to truly focus and apply the key message for that week) I had an epiphany about leadership.
RESOLVE TO BLESS YOUR CHILDREN
“I will bless my children and teach them to love God with all of their hearts, all of their minds, and all of their strength.”
Now to those who know me, me focussing on this area appears somewhat strange, especially as we (my amazing wife and I) don’t have children, and your confusion would be well placed as I too thought ‘why the heck am I reading this and what possible value could it add to my life?’.
Oh ‘me’ of little faith :0) One of my prayers before any kind of activity is to pray for wisdom in any interactions I have so that I hear, see and learn what my Father voice and in this instance, it came out loud and clear.
“To be a better leader, you need to become a better parent“
The link between parenthood and leadership came about through 2 bible verses/words of wisdom the authors share.
As I read these words the first clear message that came to me was “Parents are leaders, and leaders are parents.” Don’t go away, hear me out…
Below I relay nine things the authors listed (buy and read this great book for all the details) that cause children to lose heart. Alongside each ‘thing’ I have started a sentence which I urge you to complete.
Thing (Definition) “Complete the sentence…”
A) Absence (Not giving full attention; outright not being there)
“When my boss doesn’t give me their full attention (at the appropriate time) I become …..
B) Anger (saying or doing things that wound
“When my boss acts out in anger towards me I …”
C) Unjust discipline (unjustified or administered unfairly)
“When my boss mete’s out discipline unjustly or unfairly I …”
D) Harsch criticism (sarcasm, belittling in private or public)
“When my boss says sarcastic or belittling things to me or about me I …”
E) Lack of compassion (not listening fully, not clarifying)
“When my boss doesn’t listen fully or dismisses my fears/concerns I …”
“When my boss shows as if they have favourites I …”
“When my boss preaches one thing and does another, I …
H) Misunderstanding (not listening and then disagreeing or sharing opinions)
“When my boss shares their opinion or disagrees with me before having fully listened and understood I …
I) Unrealistic expectations (set up to fail)
“When my boss assigns me tasks or objectives for which I am not equipped or skilled to accomplish, I …”
If you are anything like me and the people I have observed in the workplace on the receiving end of any one of these behaviours, I hope you realise that leaders, like parents, have people who need to be treated and communicated with in certain ways. Failure to do this will and does, lead to resentment and withdrawal most definitely a costly and often painful event.
Would love your thoughts and reflection on the above. How do you as a parent/leader ensure engagement and positive development?
Have a brilliant week