Words of Wisdom: Unraveling the Chaos

When the country is in chaos, everybody has a plan to fix it; but it takes a leader of real understanding to straighten things out

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Negotiating with Influence: Irrefutable Law Seven

Have you ever wondered why there are times when you share information/advice or offer something to somebody which is of high value to them (note – you had the permission to share it and the influence to share it) and they reject/don’t take it up/go a different way?

This has befuddled me for a long time. Especially when I have been called in by a company leader to help improve their organisations productivity and performance or help create change in the culture. I come in, do the background research and make the appropriate recommendations which experience and track record have shown will achieve the desired results and the individual does something different.

I recognise that in some instances this may very well be down to misapplication of Irrefutable Laws One – Six however not all instances and through hard experience and study I have come to understand a key cause of this frustrating symptom which brings us nicely into Irrefutable Law Seven

Irrefutable Law Seven of Negotiating with Influence – Understand the game!

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That’s right. At the end of it all, everything we do, every interaction we have is a game with different rules being played by different people each with their own intentions and motives. 

That’s why I love this quote by Sun Tzu

“He who knows when he can fight and when he cannot will be victorious”

There will be times when you can push forward and times when not. It’s not about ‘pushing forward’ but more importantly – as I outlined in yesterdays post on Irrefutable Law Six of Negotiating with Influence – about ensuring that each interaction is a ‘Win-Win’

Here are a few tips to help start applying Irrefutable Law Seven

  • Tip One –  Identify and commit to the games you will play and won’t play.

“Everyday we face decisions in our interactions with other people. We live our lives and inspire lives through the way we play the game. Some bully, some are bullied and some play tit for tat” (unknown)

Before you get involved in the game it is always worth deciding what type of player you are going to be. This helps down the line as you can be far more responsive in your interactions rather than reactive

  • Tip two – Learn to identify and utilise the different tactics and strategies game players use. A quick google search for negotiation tactics brings up the following which can help you accelerate this (look who comes up at the top of the list :0)

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  • Tip Three – (especially in a work setting) read up and learn about the Political Games People Play

There you have it – Irrefutable Law Seven – Learn to play the game.

Next up Irrefutable Law Eight of Negotiating with influence

Have a fab Wednesday and remember “Life doesn’t get better by chance, but by change”

Words of Wisdom: Authentic Empathy

Instead of labeling a persons actions as ‘Behaviours or Attitudes’ start viewing these actions as attempts by the person to meet their core needs

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Words of Wisdom: Tough Decisions

When facing a tough problem/decision: Work through it as a manager, and then resolve it as a human being

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