Words of Wisdom: Performance

Performance comes first and foremost from productivity, and without a greater sense of purpose there will be little productivity. Purpose is Leadership driven

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Words of Wisdom: Maximise Productivity

To maximise productivity and performance it is critical that your employees are so invested in the company, that they feel and act like owners

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Negotiating with Influence: Irrefutable Law Eight

What is the difference between Persuasion (Influence) and Manipulation? This is the question I ask at the start of each of my Influence and Persuasion Workshop –

A question which sits at the very crux of being a person who negotiates with influence.

A question worth serious consideration and contemplation for any individual who wants to have more influence over others.

The difference? Strangely enough my research and observation of countless interactions in business and life has found that it in fact has very little to do with the persuasion/influencing technique used and everything to do with the observation and perception of the person on the receiving end of your ‘persuasion’

Pause a moment and think back over the past to a time where you were on the receiving end of somebody asking something of you. A time where although you said yes, you still sat there after the fact with a sense that you had been hoodwinked/taken advantage of. There was nothing sinister about the request, it was all above board however you just knew that you had been ‘manipulated’

This is why Irrefutable Law Eight came into being.

Irrefutable Law Eight – You need to HAVE Influence

Over the past two weeks I have shared with you my first Seven Irrefutable Laws of Negotiating with Influence. Seven Laws which I know (from my own application as well as testimonials of others) when applied with focus and positive intention result in: More Yes’s; Better, stronger more committed relationships and ultimately improved outcomes for yourself and the important people in your life.

This is where I need to share a cautionary tale – As I started applying the first Seven Laws  I still wasn’t getting the results I really wanted. At first I couldn’t figure out where the problem lay until I came across a book (which I share in the tips section) and all became clear. Unfortunately I realised the fundamental problem was that because I didn’t have influence, the application of influence resulted more often than not came across as manipulation

I realise at this point (from watching audiences who I spoken to and shared this message with) that as you read this you are probably scratching your head in confusion thinking “He says I need to influence but because I don’t have influence my influence will risk coming across as manipulation?!”

Write the following down and commit yourself to understanding this

“Being Persuasive is good, but having Influence is magic!”

Whats the key difference? Lets take a look at dictionary definitions of the following words

Persuade/Influence: (verb) The act of causing a person/people to believe or do something

Influence: (Adjective) A power (especially one that operates without any direct or apparent effort) which affects a person to do something

In other words to truly be able to negotiate with influence, you need to also have influence. You will be glad to know that we all are born with influence! Not only that but we all have the ability to develop our influence (refer to Irrefutable Law’s Three and Six for guidance on how this occurs)

Lets take a look at a few tips on how to become a person of influence

  • Tip One – Read the book ‘Becoming a person of influence‘ by John Maxwell and the late Jim Dornan. This is one of my core development tools which I read and continuously work on developing every year. In it you will find the blue print on how to truly become a person of influence
  • Tip Two – Start developing your ‘expert’ influence! ‘Expert’ influence is achieved through becoming an expert in your chosen field. This includes a journey and plan of continuous development (formal and/or informal) focusing on the advancement of learning and application of knowledge and skills help me develop my Expert Influence
  • Tip Three – Become a value adder! If you look back to Irrefutable Law Three – Add value you will come across a quote which read “You are not paid for your time, but for the value you bring” To truly be a person of influence do everything in your power to add value to the relationships you seek to build. This could include but is not limited to volunteering on projects and under promising/over delivering

With the application of these and may other tips I have slowly but surely started becoming a person of influence and along with the application of the first seven laws am continuously improving as a negotiator with influence

Tomorrow Negotiating with Influence – Irrefutable Law Nine

 

 

Words of Wisdom: Listening is magic

Your people don’t commit to you when they understand. They only commit to you when they feel understood

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Words of Wisdom: Performance

In order to improve an individuals performance focus on developing the will, then the skill. This in turn leads to higher productivity resulting in improved performance

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Negotiating with Influence: Irrefutable Law Two

I was on the receiving end of one of the best introductions to a sales call I have had in while this morning. Typically telesales calls are shocking! Why? Because when I answer the phone the introduction goes like this

Hi, can I speak to Mr Weber please?

What really grabs my goat about this start to a call is that I know it’s a sales call and immediately I am on the defensive with my automatic internal response being “Who are you? What company are you representing? What are you trying to convince me into buying?” with an immediate block to any message from there on out. What comes out of my mouth “Who is this please?” and typically ends one short minute later

What made this morning’s call special? The caller started with who they were, where they were calling from and why before they asked to speak to Mr Weber, and the clincher – it was an organisation I had recently interacted with and was interested in. My response “It is Mr Weber with a warmth to my voice” conversation continues

The reason that I share this little story is that yesterday in my post Negotiating with Influence – The Ten Irrefutable Laws, I shared Irrefutable Law One – You have to communicate what you want. A quick recap being

a) If you want anything you need to ask

b) There can be no negotiation without setting out your stall

c) People don’t ask/communicate with one major fear being they are scared of damaging the relationship (other fears being: coming across as incompetent; not getting what you want)

Which leads us beautifully into Irrefutable Law Two and the reason for my opening gambit.

Irrefutable Law Two: Sell it, Don’t tell it

That’s right! As important as it is to communicate what you want, it is equally as important to ensure that you communicate it in the right way and this means selling it, not telling it.

Let me put this into context. I have never been very good at communicating what I want mainly because I had an unhealthy and unrealistic fear of damaging the relationship and a host of other things I am working on. Thankfully I am working on this and proud to say that I’m getting better ;0) My first memorable ask was my first attempt at negotiating a raise in my first sales job. Picture this – End of a long day, my boss and I are having a few post work beers and out of the blue I blurt out “I feel I deserve a raise!

Firstly koodos to me! I asked, which was a personal best for me, unfortunately courage to ask isn’t quite enough and the answer was a resounding “No!”. I unfortunately was not very good at applying Irrefutable Law Four  at this point so that ended that conversation.

What I subsequently learned over the years was that in order to get a Yes, it is not enough to tell people what you want – although if you do only this consistently utilising the tips shared the odds are you will and do ultimately get more yes’s (at its base its all about the numbers) – what is needed to increase the chance of yes to an even greater level is to put it in such a way that shows value for what you are asking. I.E. You have to sell it.

Here are a few very valid rationals for this

  1. In every communication there are four messages being conveyed and received! In my leadership and sales training I have long delivered the message that “You cannot NOT communicate”. I always knew this to be true due to the impact of our mind on our actions/behaviours but had never seen any specific research science on this until yesterday (surprees!!) In my daily development I came across a piece called The Communication Model by Schultz Von Thun Psychologist and expert in interpersonal and intrapersonal communication – Click on the link and go check him and his communication model out – its fascinating. The essence being that everything being said is being judged and validated and therefore if what you are communicating doesn’t mesh with what the person is using to validate and judge what you are saying your communication will not be received in the way you wished (and breathe…)
  2. Whenever you are asking somebody for something they are always (consciously or subconsciously evaluating “Whats in it for me?”
  3. They are also thinking “What will it cost me?” as well as “What have you done to deserve this”

Hence the need to sell and not just tell.

  • Tip 1. Seek to understand before putting together your pitch – There is often a misconception that selling is all about the giving of information when in fact it only plays a small part of the whole ‘sell’ the key to ‘selling’ is to gather as many facts as possible both  about the ‘person on the receiving end’ as well as what you are offering before you make your pitch. The reason for this is that facts properly lead to needs which in turn are what you are putting your request towards.
  • Tip 2 – Make sure you prepare for your pitch using The Communication Square I shared in the previous post
  • Tip 3 – Communicate using the format Simon Sinek shares in his phenomenal Ted Talk ‘How Great Leaders Inspire Action’ click on the picture below.

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I cant remember how long sales training taught the framework What – Why – How. Simon put this on its head and shows why it is crucial when selling any idea that you start with WHY? then WHAT then HOW

In summary then in order to hope to Negotiate with Influence it is essential that Not only must you apply Irrefutable Law One – You need to ask/communicate what you want but that when you do so as set out in Irrefutable Law Two – Sell it, Don’t tell

Tomorrow Irrefutable Law Three

Have an amazing end of day.

Stephan

Words of Wisdom: Challenge

Whatever you face in life, choose to GROW through it, rather than simply GO through it!

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