Words of Wisdom: Business Leadership

True Business Leaders take something of low productivity and turn it into something of high productivity



Words of Wisdom: Take charge

Great Leaders know things will get better because they know they will make things better


Negotiating with Influence: Irrefutable Law Eight

What is the difference between Persuasion (Influence) and Manipulation? This is the question I ask at the start of each of my Influence and Persuasion Workshop –

A question which sits at the very crux of being a person who negotiates with influence.

A question worth serious consideration and contemplation for any individual who wants to have more influence over others.

The difference? Strangely enough my research and observation of countless interactions in business and life has found that it in fact has very little to do with the persuasion/influencing technique used and everything to do with the observation and perception of the person on the receiving end of your ‘persuasion’

Pause a moment and think back over the past to a time where you were on the receiving end of somebody asking something of you. A time where although you said yes, you still sat there after the fact with a sense that you had been hoodwinked/taken advantage of. There was nothing sinister about the request, it was all above board however you just knew that you had been ‘manipulated’

This is why Irrefutable Law Eight came into being.

Irrefutable Law Eight – You need to HAVE Influence

Over the past two weeks I have shared with you my first Seven Irrefutable Laws of Negotiating with Influence. Seven Laws which I know (from my own application as well as testimonials of others) when applied with focus and positive intention result in: More Yes’s; Better, stronger more committed relationships and ultimately improved outcomes for yourself and the important people in your life.

This is where I need to share a cautionary tale – As I started applying the first Seven Laws  I still wasn’t getting the results I really wanted. At first I couldn’t figure out where the problem lay until I came across a book (which I share in the tips section) and all became clear. Unfortunately I realised the fundamental problem was that because I didn’t have influence, the application of influence resulted more often than not came across as manipulation

I realise at this point (from watching audiences who I spoken to and shared this message with) that as you read this you are probably scratching your head in confusion thinking “He says I need to influence but because I don’t have influence my influence will risk coming across as manipulation?!”

Write the following down and commit yourself to understanding this

“Being Persuasive is good, but having Influence is magic!”

Whats the key difference? Lets take a look at dictionary definitions of the following words

Persuade/Influence: (verb) The act of causing a person/people to believe or do something

Influence: (Adjective) A power (especially one that operates without any direct or apparent effort) which affects a person to do something

In other words to truly be able to negotiate with influence, you need to also have influence. You will be glad to know that we all are born with influence! Not only that but we all have the ability to develop our influence (refer to Irrefutable Law’s Three and Six for guidance on how this occurs)

Lets take a look at a few tips on how to become a person of influence

  • Tip One – Read the book ‘Becoming a person of influence‘ by John Maxwell and the late Jim Dornan. This is one of my core development tools which I read and continuously work on developing every year. In it you will find the blue print on how to truly become a person of influence
  • Tip Two – Start developing your ‘expert’ influence! ‘Expert’ influence is achieved through becoming an expert in your chosen field. This includes a journey and plan of continuous development (formal and/or informal) focusing on the advancement of learning and application of knowledge and skills help me develop my Expert Influence
  • Tip Three – Become a value adder! If you look back to Irrefutable Law Three – Add value you will come across a quote which read “You are not paid for your time, but for the value you bring” To truly be a person of influence do everything in your power to add value to the relationships you seek to build. This could include but is not limited to volunteering on projects and under promising/over delivering

With the application of these and may other tips I have slowly but surely started becoming a person of influence and along with the application of the first seven laws am continuously improving as a negotiator with influence

Tomorrow Negotiating with Influence – Irrefutable Law Nine



Words of Wisdom: Lead the way

Leaders do not go where the path is already laid, but go where there is no path and through their works create a trail


Words of Wisdom: Performance and Productivity

High productivity and performance is not achieved through compensation. Rather, it is achieved through identifying and and understanding the individuals needs and then helping them achieve these needs


The debilitating effect of “That’s not my job”

The gym my gorgeous wife and I train at is amazing! State of the art, all the toys necessary for any type of training including virtual classes in their spin and functional studio’s. Suffice to say we love it and love training there (did I mention it is literally 400 meters from the house :0))

There is nothing better than to start our day off with a spin to get the blood pumping, adrenaline flowing and mind ready for the day and because the class is virtual we are not constrained by set times, instructor not being available etc and the virtual class quality (instructors and video production) is out of this world (Les Mills feel free to send across marketing royalties lol)

This morning unfortunately was not the gyms finest moment. The instructor led classes and the sound system allows for the instructor to switch from the video sound to an external source. It also looks like the policy at the gym is that the sound cabinet is kept locked at all time (good policy). Unfortunately it appears that last nights instructor forgot (for their benefit) to switch the sound back to the video source. locked the cabinet and went home with the result that when we arrived this morning we found upon getting our session started that we were without sound

For those of you who spin (especially a class led by a virtual instructor) you’ll know that doing a class (no matter how much you love spinning) without sound is annoyingly painful!

So off I trot to find the very helpful and friendly gym personnel to sort this out and it turns out they cannot find the key to unlock the cabinet to switch the sound etc which we can live with: these things happen and lessons can be learned and policies can be put in place to  ensure this does not re-occur and we continue with our class (thank God for the tons of music on mobile etc)

Which brings me to the point of this short post – As we left the gym, my gorgeous wife took a moment to stop and chat with the individual that had attended to us earlier and shared very sweetly feedback on the impact of not having access to the keys to the sound equipment and some ideas on how to change this, to which the individual responded

“That’s not my job…”

And here’s the problem – There is nothing more infuriating to hear as a customer than those four/five words – wink if you agree :0) The problem with those words for me are that

  1. The person doesn’t really care about my needs as a customer
  2. The person is not solutions focussed
  3. The person is not accountable

All indications of a big problem I come across in all the organisations I work with helping them and their people flourish through equipping, empowering and enabling them to achieve their potential

The Big Problem – The business is run in such a way, the leadership operate in such a way; and people are set up in such a way that A) they don’t understand what their job really is and B) they don’t have accountability!

Take a moment to answer the following question regarding your work life, and then go and ask a number of others who work with you the same question

“What is your job?”

If the majority of answers are “My job is to …(fill in job title or responsibilities of job) your business is in serious trouble. The problem with this thinking and mindset is the key cause to I would venture 90% of all businesses who have gone bang

If people think their job is their job title the reality is that they are not working for the organisation, they are not working for a bigger purpose and as a result they are working for themselves.

If what I have shared today struck a cord and you recognise this pattern of thinking in your business and want to avoid the energy sapping, profit killing, people stealing avalanche that this brings give stephan@leadershipinmotion.co.uk a shout.